A great reminder!
Plumbline Author: Craig Stiemsma
Date: May 18, 2007
Topic: A Parent's Role in Athletic Competition
Each year, at the conclusion of the NCAA Basketball championship game, CBS punctuates the 65 team
three week tournament with a stunning choreographed rendition of the song “One Shining Moment”
with memorable faces, finishes, shots, and plays from throughout the tournament. The fact that only
one team takes home the big trophy does not diminish the great memories that are made by many,
many schools, teams, coaches and players.
In today’s society, we often see and hear about parents who are pushing their kids to strive for that
one moment of athletic glory, that championship season or storybook ending. The problem for most
athletes, most kids, and a majority of parents, as well, is that the one shining moment never comes.
Millions of parents in the United States push their children to work so hard at one sport that it becomes
work instead of play. The many reasons behind the parental push can sometimes be very irrational and
unrealistic to an outside observer.
At a clinic many years ago, a coach mentioned that “the parent sometimes cares more about their
child being All-State than all the kids having an opportunity to go to State.” Our prosperity and culture
provide a dangerous combination for parents who want to push their child into the limelight.
In my younger years, I often heard the phrase “sports junkie” and I was even referred to this way a
time or two. In my youth and early adulthood, I was accepting of this, maybe almost a little proud
of it. However, if we look carefully at the word junkie though, we see huge problems with someone
who needs a constant fix or injection of something to feel good. The Bible tells us the only “fix” for
us should be Jesus and his teachings. The Bible also tells us that we are to make NO other gods. It’s a
commandment all right, and it’s not a joke.
One local parent recently confided in me. He said “Craig, I know you are not going to like this”, he told
me “but I am taking my son to Waterloo every Sunday morning for AAU basketball” This will give him a
great chance at a full ride scholarship”.
Idols- you give them an inch, or a Sunday, they’ll take a mile.
To have parents realize what is truly best for their child should be of utmost importance. To realize that
what is best for the team should also be best for their school as well as their son or daughter. It should
make sense then, that improved understanding of the parental role in athletics would benefit everyone
involved in the competition.
Bruce Brown, who speaks and writes for the NAIA on issues such as character, gives us many interesting
insights on ideal parental behavior, as well as some warning signals for parent when it comes to their
kid’s participation. Brown says that parents should “attend as many games as possible, be a model not
a critic, model appropriate behavior, and view games with team goals in mind.” Brown also says we
should “release the child to the coach and team, look upon the opponents as friends involved in the
same experience as you, be good listeners, and be willing to accept the roles and achievements of your
child.”
Brown also tells us parents should not “make notes during a game to critique his child, be nervous
before a child’s game, have a difficult time bouncing back from his child’s team’s defeat, or be verbally
critical of an official or coach.” (Brown, 2003)
If we want our children to live as servants, then we as parents, teachers and coaches are to live as
servants, servants of God, not of athletic competition. Our actions speak so loudly that sometimes
young athletes can’t hear what we are saying.
Take a close look at an image of your son or daughter without their favorite sport. Envision it! If you
don’t like what you see, then you’ve got some parenting to do because even if your kids are blessed with
that one shining moment, the bubble will burst, at some point, and the games will end. What will he or
she be left with at that point?
Plumbline Author: Craig Stiemsma
Date: May 18, 2007
Topic: A Parent's Role in Athletic Competition
Each year, at the conclusion of the NCAA Basketball championship game, CBS punctuates the 65 team
three week tournament with a stunning choreographed rendition of the song “One Shining Moment”
with memorable faces, finishes, shots, and plays from throughout the tournament. The fact that only
one team takes home the big trophy does not diminish the great memories that are made by many,
many schools, teams, coaches and players.
In today’s society, we often see and hear about parents who are pushing their kids to strive for that
one moment of athletic glory, that championship season or storybook ending. The problem for most
athletes, most kids, and a majority of parents, as well, is that the one shining moment never comes.
Millions of parents in the United States push their children to work so hard at one sport that it becomes
work instead of play. The many reasons behind the parental push can sometimes be very irrational and
unrealistic to an outside observer.
At a clinic many years ago, a coach mentioned that “the parent sometimes cares more about their
child being All-State than all the kids having an opportunity to go to State.” Our prosperity and culture
provide a dangerous combination for parents who want to push their child into the limelight.
In my younger years, I often heard the phrase “sports junkie” and I was even referred to this way a
time or two. In my youth and early adulthood, I was accepting of this, maybe almost a little proud
of it. However, if we look carefully at the word junkie though, we see huge problems with someone
who needs a constant fix or injection of something to feel good. The Bible tells us the only “fix” for
us should be Jesus and his teachings. The Bible also tells us that we are to make NO other gods. It’s a
commandment all right, and it’s not a joke.
One local parent recently confided in me. He said “Craig, I know you are not going to like this”, he told
me “but I am taking my son to Waterloo every Sunday morning for AAU basketball” This will give him a
great chance at a full ride scholarship”.
Idols- you give them an inch, or a Sunday, they’ll take a mile.
To have parents realize what is truly best for their child should be of utmost importance. To realize that
what is best for the team should also be best for their school as well as their son or daughter. It should
make sense then, that improved understanding of the parental role in athletics would benefit everyone
involved in the competition.
Bruce Brown, who speaks and writes for the NAIA on issues such as character, gives us many interesting
insights on ideal parental behavior, as well as some warning signals for parent when it comes to their
kid’s participation. Brown says that parents should “attend as many games as possible, be a model not
a critic, model appropriate behavior, and view games with team goals in mind.” Brown also says we
should “release the child to the coach and team, look upon the opponents as friends involved in the
same experience as you, be good listeners, and be willing to accept the roles and achievements of your
child.”
Brown also tells us parents should not “make notes during a game to critique his child, be nervous
before a child’s game, have a difficult time bouncing back from his child’s team’s defeat, or be verbally
critical of an official or coach.” (Brown, 2003)
If we want our children to live as servants, then we as parents, teachers and coaches are to live as
servants, servants of God, not of athletic competition. Our actions speak so loudly that sometimes
young athletes can’t hear what we are saying.
Take a close look at an image of your son or daughter without their favorite sport. Envision it! If you
don’t like what you see, then you’ve got some parenting to do because even if your kids are blessed with
that one shining moment, the bubble will burst, at some point, and the games will end. What will he or
she be left with at that point?
